Ego is the mask or protection that our limited mortal mind creates in order to protect itself from fear.
As I discussed in my previous post, Here Be Dragons, fear is rendered unnecessary because Christ lived, died and rose again for all of us. If fear is unnecessary, then we certainly don't need our mask (or dragon skin) of Ego, either.
Christ beckons us to believe in times of great trial and in times of happiness. When Jesus was travelling to the house of Jairus to heal his daughter, the ruler of the synagogue pointed out that it was a hopeless effort - she was already dead:
As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe.
When the rich young man came to Jesus asking how to inherit eternal life, he was not in distress or suffering a trial. He had a comfortable existence. He was content with his circumstances. Christ asked him to believe - "come, follow me" - as he asks us all to believe.
Putting our trust and faith in God has power to shift our consciousness and awareness. It can lift us out of depression and darkness, and lead us to safety.
My family is going through a period of change and stress. It has been ongoing, in one form or another, for almost five months. Due to these changes, we are currently living in a tiny, bleak, rented house. The roof has a leak, which has led to a perfect breeding ground for mould in several parts of the house.
Although I am grateful for a roof over our heads (however patchy), I have been struggling with living here. I just. don't. like it. I want to leave, immediately! We are in the process of buying our first home, and I want everything to go smoothly with a sort of manic desperation that I have never felt about anything else before.
Manic desperation, feeling out of control, creeping depression, overwhelmed with managing a household of almost constantly grumpy small people, and this mad 40 day meditation I've been doing -- it's a lot to deal with!
When everything was getting me down and I didn't see a way back up again, I was blessed to attend the perfect lesson at church. It made me remember that my pain and suffering weren't coming from punishment or lack of love from God. My feelings were because I was doggedly hanging onto the plan that I desired, rather than surrendering to His will.
During our family prayer the next day, I said aloud, "Thank you for this mouldy house." The words practically stuck in my throat, but they came out. Saying it aloud created a change of heart in me.
I replaced my fear with faith. I voiced aloud my humility for God's plan, and my depression, fear and anxiety almost immediately disappeared.
Nothing in our living situation has changed since that day. I have experienced the blessings of God's immeasurable love as I've worked on replacing fear with faith. I'm not perfect at this effort, and continue to have highs and lows, but when I recall that powerful experience of the desire to believe having such a profound impact on my psyche, it buoys me up.
My Ego tries to tell me that Things Aren't Fair and I Deserve Better. It tries to convince me to be impatient and revel in anger and frustration. Fear is at the root of these thoughts and feelings, but it can be dispelled.
Be not afraid, only believe.