Tuesday, 9 February 2016

A million others all around me


Long Ek Ong Kar

Morning Call

Long chant

Adi Shakti mantra


All these names describe a meditation that has a deep power to change our lives. It aligns the chakras (represented in the picture above) and connects your soul to God.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About a week and a half ago, I attended my first White Tantric Yoga session in London. I had to go for my teacher training; it wasn't something I was particularly excited about to be honest! I'd heard stories about how hard it was, and I also read about how close you had to sit to your partner and neighbours and I'm really not comfortable with touching people and looking people in the eye. It all seemed very awkward and unpleasant!

But, I want to be a teacher, so I went. It was hard; we had a series of 62 minute meditations throughout the day, and we were required to sit still throughout the meditations and hold a specific posture (the most challenging was holding my finger on my partner's third eye point, while she did the same to me, and staring at her in the eye. FOR 62 MINUTES).

They say that it is common to experience a change or shift in your psyche after attending a White Tantric session. Perhaps that seed was planted in my subconscious so I was expecting a change, or, more likely, the idea prepared me to accept any changes that would occur afterward.

Whatever the reason or logic, after a full day of very long and challenging meditations, I did feel different. I feel rumblings and shiftings taking place that I can't quite describe yet, but the most notable was the feeling of low-level anxiety that I have been managing quite well with daily meditation (but still reared its ugly head during especially difficult days/weeks) is gone. I suddenly noticed that the irrational fear that stopped me from answering the phone or opening an email was gone. I was able to face a few stressful situations last week without putting them off and letting them loom large in my mind. This is a revelation to me! I feel lighter on my feet, and much happier in myself.

Anxiety is a huge problem for many people. It can be crippling. I managed to live a semi-normal existence with anxious feelings plaguing me from day to day (some days much better than others), but I know other people suffer to such a great extent that it terribly impacts their ability to function, or even leave the house. My heart goes out to anyone suffering with this condition. If this is you, to any degree, please start meditating! Contact me if you want to start; I would love to help you.

I already recognised that my anxiety was stopping me from dealing with things like housework or making/attending appointments, but it has been holding me back spiritually, as well. My mentor/teacher trainer suggested that we all choose a 40 day meditation after attending White Tantric Yoga. All of that hard work to clear out the subconscious is a great time to plant a new seed of hope and spirituality.

Mentally, I scoffed at the notion. I told myself that I didn't have time, and I wasn't prepared to start ANOTHER meditation. I was very happy with my current routine, thankyouverymuch. (I am nearing on 300 days in a row of Kirtan Kriya, so that's exciting)

Hmm. A lesson I need to learn repeatedly (and then again, and possibly again again) is that when I mentally scoff or kick back at a wise idea, I need to attend to that idea and examine it closer....

This past weekend I attended my teacher training and went to an early morning sadhana session where we performed the long Ek Ong Kar meditation... for 2.5 hours.

I was excited to try it, and obviously a week out from my White Tantric experience, I knew that I could at least sit and meditate for one hour. What's another 90 minutes, right? Easy-peasy!

The experience of meditating in a circle of like-minded people, repeating the same mantra over and over again in the early morning darkness (whilst hearing birds chirping out the window) is like no other. At times I drifted in and out of consciousness (I was tired! We started at 5am!), but I was supported by the mantra's vibrations. I felt a deep change within me, and at times I was very emotionally uncomfortable, like I was in an intense counselling session. I felt the release of some very deep trapped emotions. By the end of the 2.5 hours, I felt like I had dreamed most of the experience. I was rejuvenated and peaceful. And yes, it was a test of self, but all good things in life are worth working for.

During that day, I felt very strongly pulled toward doing a 40 day meditation of 2.5 hours of long Ek Ong Kar. After all, I'd already done day 1! Great start!

Uufff. How do I fit this into my day? 2.5 hours is 150 minutes. That's a looooonnnggg time to expect complete stillness without being disturbed. I have five children, and they are home educated. I am lucky to have 11 minutes to fit in Kirtan Kriya at random points throughout the day.

There's a reason why the meditation is also known as Morning Call; it needs to be done during the Amrit Vela, the time of the morning nectar, in the hours preceding sunrise.

I'm on day 3, but only 2 of those days have been at home on my own, outside that wonderful circle of yogis that I meditated with on day 1. I have to wake up and start meditating by 4am, so that I am finished with Long Ek Ong Kar by 6.30am and can fit in 11 minutes of Kirtan Kriya before my household awakes.

Committing to such a task isn't for the faint of heart, I'm discovering! While I'm sure that my lack of anxiety has helped propel me towards this meditation, I still need to keep up in order to be kept up!

Yogi Bhajan said, "If you must do sadhana by yourself, then while you are chanting, imagine a million others all around you. Hear them all chanting, with you in the middle, not moving at all. Feel that you do not chant physically, and yet are leading the chant and letting the chant lead you. As you imagine this, continue chanting."

I need to work on imagining a million others around me, supporting and lifting my efforts, as I felt on day 1 with my fellow teacher trainees. I know this is a task God wants me to accomplish and succeed at. There is great treasure to be found at the end of such challenges, and I look forward to being worthy to find great hidden treasures of knowledge.

If you are so inclined, think of me during the Amrit Vela, those hours before sunset. Send me your support as I tremulously step into this new experience!

3 comments:

  1. Way to go Sarah. That is awesome. I have not heard the quote about a million others around you... I love that idea. Once When doing Adi Shakti I heard my heavenly mothers voice chanting with me...WOW it just made getting up early that day worth everything it took to get to that point.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love the way you write. You are blessed with so many gifts. It is exciting to watch another bloom in your life. Keep going; you are an inspiration. Much love - xx

    ReplyDelete